Sunday, October 14, 2012

Why didn't anyone tell me.....

Becoming a new mom is unbelievable.  The ups and the downs - all amplified by the flow of hormones - seem to run our lives during those first months.  Why didn't anyone tell me it would be so hard?  The thing I wonder is - would you have HEARD it?  Not because you are consternatious or anything like that - but because in our culture we have an almost unhealthy obsession with pregnancy and birth.  We take classes, we have blessing ways/showers, we go to yoga, we read books, we talk to others about the details.  Where in all of this do we prepare for the time with the baby?  We don't.  And yet it happens.  We make it through the pregnancy and the birth...hurrah!    Then suddenly, there you are - at home with your baby.  Now what?
The baby is eating, eating, eating.  You are exhausted.  Where is everyone that was so supportive during the pregnancy now?  Diapers, eating, crying, exhaustion.

Why didn't anyone tell me:
*how hard breastfeeding is
*how exhausted I am
*I would feel so alone
*I may not love my baby

These any many many other experiences of motherhood can be shocking.  With the amount of focus on pregnancy and birth it is hard to believe the postpartum period of birth - or the babymoon - is neglected.

Amongst all that you are doing to care for your baby YOU have to care for yourself.  It seems impossible to take time for yourself but you have to.  Doing ONE thing a day to nurture yourself.

*take a shower
*make a cup of tea
*talk to a friend
*go to a support group
*take a walk
*get to a yoga class
*get a manicure
*hire a postpartum doula
*talk to a professional
*get a massage

Fill your cup.  Noone survives with an empty cup.  The postpartum period is tough.  Noone can really tell you - you just have to live through it.  Get support, make connections, recognize your strength!